Cardfight! Vanguard: Painful Truths and Desires
by Gintokifan18
Summary: When Kai calls Aichi Q4's weakest link he took it A LOT harder than he did in the show. Kai is acting cold hearted towards everyone why is that? Aichi runs away from everyone even going far as to dye his hair. Will Kai be able to change himself before its too late, or will Aichi be dead by the time he finds out what he did? Contains self-harm and suicidal thoughts and actions.
1. Chapter 1: Hurtful Words

Cardfight! Vanguard: Painful Truths and Desires

Rated: Mature

Pairings: Aichi x Ren, Aichi x Kai

Author's Note: I don't own any of this or any of the characters in this fanfiction a side from my Ocs later in the story. I also couldn't have done this without my good YouTube friend Elemntalherogunman. This story contains self-harm and sucidal thought and actions.

Chapter 1: Hurtful Words

***Kai's P.O.V.***

"It's all your fault that Kai couldn't face me! It's your fault for always being a burden to Kai!" Ren Suzugamori yelled at a much smaller bluenette. I didn't say a word as my once good friend Ren spat cruel words at Aichi.

"Why did Kai who is a strong fighter end up with someone as pathetic and pitiful person like you?" Ren spat as Aichi lowered his head to hide his face behind his long hair.

"Sto-!" Misaki protested as Aichi stopped her.

"Misaki stop its alright." Aichi said

"Aichi?!" Misaki argued

"He's right it's all my fault that Kai couldn't fight him." Aichi said his voice came out uneven.

"That's right Aichi it is your fault!" Ren smirked

"Kai?!" Misaki called out to me hoping that I might be able to Aichi it wasn't his fault.

"What?" I asked not wanting to get involved

"Yes, Kai how about you say it yourself. Say that it was Aichi's fault that you weren't able to fight me!" Ren purred seeing the look of desperation in Aichi's eyes when he asked me to say it. Aichi looked ready to collapse to the ground in tears.

"Fine, but I'm only say it because its the truth! Yes, it's because of Aichi being Q4's weakest link that I was unable to fight you Ren!" I spat not caring about Aichi when he walked out of the building holding his head low.

"KAI!" Misaki and Kamui yelled

"What do you want now?!" I asked not wanting to be bothered by those losers.

"WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT TO MY BROTHER?!" Kamui yelled furious at me.

"I already said the reason!" I said not one for repeating myself.

"IT'S NOT THE TRUTH!" Kamui yelled

"Whatever!" I said walking in the opposite direction that Aichi went.

***Aichi's P.O.V.***

I walked out of the building unable to speak against Ren and Kai. I was Q4's weakest link after all. I was my fault that Kai wasn't able to fight Ren. It's my fault for holding Kai back from becoming a stronger cardfighter.

Kai said so before that the weakest link should be left out of the fight. So I'm doing just that I'm leaving Q4. They'll be better off without me holding them back. To show that I'm committed to leaving Q4 I threw my Vanguard cards down into the sewer forever. I didn't feel any remorse when I threw them away.

I no longer held the will to live like I did just a few hours ago. I didn't even care when my clothes got drenched as it begun to pour. I walked slowly threw the rain until I found myself in an empty ally way. Where I found a sharp pocket knife on the ground.

I picked it up unafraid of the pain as I carved the words: WEAKEST LINK on my arm with the blade. The rain washed away the blood that spilled from the wound. I felt slightly better after I cut myself actually.

I fell to the cold wet ground completely numb from head to toe. I couldn't even feel the tears fall from my eyes. It hurts being called weak by your idol. It hurts knowing that your idol thinks you're a burden to them. I've never felt such excruciating pain before in my life.

"I'm sorry for ever been breathing the same air you do, Kai." I whispered knowing he'll never come searching for me. Maybe Kamui or Misaki might search for me?

Soon I fell asleep from mental exhaustion. In the morning when the sun woke me up I felt groggy and stiff. My clothes were literally completely soaked along with my hair.

I had to change myself in order to forever leave Q4. I had my wallet which had $150 in it from my allowance that I hardly ever spend. So I went to dye my hair, and also cut it shorter. The lady who did my hair was rather friendly, but she probably only want to keep her job and get good tips. She saw the words I carved in my arm, but didn't question it thankfully. Once I got done my hair wasn't bright blue anymore it was jet-black, and the once shoulder length hair was not only ear length.

"Thanks." I said softly payer her the $65 that I owed her. She gave me a arm-wrap to cover up the cuts.

After that I need to get some new clothes with my remaining $85 I have left. It took about an hour to figure out what to buy. In the end I bought a burgundy turtle-neck with long-sleeves, and a pair of black jeans. Along with punk belt and a spiked choker. The total came out to be $70 leaving me with only $15 for food for the day.

"I need a job." I said aloud

***Meanwhile With Q4***

"Where's Aichi?!" Kamui yelled wondering why his 'brother' hasn't came back yet.

"I don't know." Misaki replied softly also worried about him.

"Hey, look what I've found by the sewer not too far from here!" Miwa said panting from running all the way to Card Capital. In his hand he held a rather drenched Buster Blade card.

"BUSTER BLADE?!" Kamui yelled shocked to find that card all wet. Buster Blade is Aichi's avatar, and the card itself held a lot of meaning to Aichi as well.

"I couldn't find the other cards sorry." Miwa said catching his breath

"Buster Blade was given to Aichi by Kai…so…!" Kamui said

"So that's why he threw it away!" Miwa announced

"Why?" Misaki asked lost

"Since Kai gave Buster Blade to Aichi, and Kai was the one who utterly destroyed him yesterday. Why would he keep a hold of a card that the same person who gave him courage also gave him despair?" Miwa explained

"Oh." Misaki said putting the pieces together

Kai sat behind everyone nonchalantly like he couldn't care less that someone was now missing because of him.

"KAI YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" Kamui cussed at Kai for not caring that he caused Aichi to leave.

"What?!" Kai hissed glaring at the runt out of the group.

"Y…YOU DON'T CARE THAT YOU CAUSED AICHI TO LEAVE! WHY ARE YOU FUCKING HELPING US FIND HIM?!" Kamui screamed at him

"Help? Me, you want ME to help you FIND someone who's better off not returning?! We don't FUCKING need that son of a bitch! He's so damn weak compared to the rest of Q4!" Kai spat frustrated that everyone kept looking at him like he did something worth going to prison for. All he did was tell Aichi the cold hard truth that's all.

"YOU BASTARD GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! NOW!" Misaki screamed enraged by what Kai just said.

"DON'T BOSS ME AROUND BITCH!" Kai yelled slapping her across her cheek making her fall to the ground stunned in fear of Kai.

"I WISH THAT FUCKING PRICK WAS NEVER BORN!" Kai yelled walking out of the card shop in an even worst mood than before.

"What gotten into him?" Miwa wondered to himself. He knew Kai for a long while, but he was never one to explode like that or to hit a woman.


	2. Chapter 2: Broken

Author's Note: I do not own any of the characters other than my OCs. Everything belongs to Bushiroad and the manag author Akira Itou. This is my first time ever putting OCs into any of my fanfictions. So I hope you'll enjoy it, and I hope everything sounds alright. Sorry if any of the characters seem to be OOC at all. Read &amp; Review please it helps me get more ideas for the next chapter. My grammer isn't the best either so please forgive me if its bad. I couldn't have done this without my youtube friend Elementalherogunman.

Chapter 2: Broken

***Aichi's P.O.V.***

Its been little over a week since I left Q4 for good due to Kai's merciless words. I got a decent paying job at a Trap Café. Where I have to wear a short maid outfit. I don't mind since the outfit is mostly black with black shoes as well. I work Monday-Friday from 10 in the morning to 6 at night I get payed $10 an hour plus tips, so I managed to get $450 by the end of the first week.

Luckily under the pen name Shadow no one from Q4 has found me. Also I've been allowed to stay in a room at the Café for free.

However, today being Monday Kai came as a customer.

"Welcome Master!" I greeted as normal as he got seated. Kai took a double take at me making me nervous that he'll figure out that I'm Aichi not Shadow.

"You look familiar?" Kai said looking over the menu ordering an Ice Tea with a stake medium well. As a side he got mashed potatoes and green beans.

"Why who do I remind you of, Master?" I asked writing down his order

"Someone who I never wanted to see again!" Kai hissed

"I,m sorry you feel that way, but I'm not that person I'm Black Shadow." I said going to get his food ready. Unlike most Café each of the waiters have to prepare his Masters own food themselves. I took me a good twenty minutes to prepare the stake while I game Kai his Ice Tea as he waited.

"Here you go Master." I said smiling has I have him his meal fresh out of the oven.

"Are you sure you're not Aichi Sendou?" Kai asked again

"Who's that someone you know?" I asked

"Never mind." Kai said as he cut his stake. I begun to take another Master's order as Kai ate his meal.

What I found out after working here for the past few days is that I'm not alone. The only person who knows my real name, and why I ran-away is my boss, Allie Wher. She told me that just about every person working here has their own secrets just like mine. I told her about what Kai said to me, and how he was the one who gave me the strength and courage to stand on my own to feet.

Allie Wher is a mid-twenties woman who started this Café a few years ago. She has shiny blond hair that reaches half way down her back. Her eyes the color of amethysts. Her height is 5'6 the rest of her measurements she doesn't tell. Since she doesn't serve food to the Masters she doesn't have a dress code like we do. Today she's wearing a simple pink dress with a pink headband and choker.

After Kai payed for his meal he left. Once he was gone Allie wanted to talk to me.

"Hey, Shadow was he the guy who broke your spirit?" Allie asked in a whisper

"Yes, he is sadly. Kai Toshiki is his full name. When I was in Elementary school I was often bullied. Around that time Kai gave me Buster Blade giving me strength to become stronger." I explained still feeling the hurt of what Ren and Kai said to me.

"That bastard!" Allie cussed

"I don't know why he said it, but he did. Before he wasn't one to say such cruel things." I said

"Do you love him?" Allie asked

"I used to before he crushed all my hopes." I confessed

"Why don't you stop for the night everyone would understand." Allie insisted

"Alright thanks." I said heading up to my room for the night. Once inside I heard my phone go off.

From: Kai

"Everyone is worried about you Aichi. Why don't you come back to Card Capital? I'm sorry for what I said to you."

Is what the text read.

"Why would Kai text me saying he's sorry, and that he wants me to return?" I wondered replying with:

"Are really sorry or are you just making it up you fucking bastard?! Even if you are sorry there is no way on Earth I'm returning to Q4!

You stomped over my hopes of being stronger! You lost your chance of keeping me in Q4 bastard!

I FUCKING HATE YOU KAI!"

I knew I shouldn't trust Kai's words when he saids he's sorry for what he said to me. I waited a few minutes before he replied to my text.

Kai: I FUCKING HATE YOU MORE YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT! I'M GLAD YOU'RE GONE NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE AICHI! I SHOULD OF CRUSHED YOU A LONG TIME AGO!

Is what Kai said to my text. I knew how he feels towards me, but that couldn't stop the tears from falling. I held my phone in my hands as I fell to the floor crying.

Me: WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU FOR YOU TO HATE ME SO MUCH?

That's the one question I kept wondering about, but its also the one question I'm afraid of knowing.

Kai: FOR EVEN BREATHING THE SAME AIR THAT I DO THAT'S WHAT YOU DID WRONG! WHY WAS A WEAK PERSON LIKE YOU EVER BORN?

The more I read the more I fell apart inside. I don't know how much more I could take before I shatter completely.

Me: THEN WHY DID YOU GIVE ME BUSTER BLADE?

Kai: I GAVE YOU BUSTER BLADE SO THAT LATER ON I COULD BE THE ONE TO BREAK YOUR HEART AND SOUL! YOU WERE ALWAYS AN EASY TARGETS FOR BULLIES AICHI! I JUST A MUCH SMARTER BULLY THAN THOSE FROM ELEMENTARY!

Those words were the last piece of sanity I had left. I felt everything fall apart because of the one person I fell in love with. He lead me on ever since he gave me that one card. He played with my love for him for so long. The only thing I could think of was the pocketknife I kept with me. The words that I carved in my skin before had already completely healed.

I brought the blade to my wrist wanting to end it. I cut from my wrist upwards knowing it was the most effective. I no longer cared about my life I just wanted the pain to end. Blood quickly begun to pour out of my wounds, but I felt no pain I was already too numb to feel any. The last thing I remember before I collapsed from blood lost was I send Kai a final text.

Me: I hope you're finally happy Kai! I'm ending my life, so I hope you finally feel better that I'm not stealing your air!


	3. Chapter 3: Mending A Shattered Heart

Author's Note: Everything belongs to Bushiroad and the manga author Akira Itou I only one my OC characters.

Chapter 3: Mending A Shattered Heart

***3rd Person***

Allie knew she shouldn't of left Aichi by himself after seeing the person who he loved crush him again. But she wasn't able to leave the Café alone as she was the only adult around. So ten minutes later she closed up shop early to check up on him, but want she found wasn't was she was hoping for.

"GUYS! GET OVER HERE NOW!" Allie screamed putting her hand over the bleeding wound to help stop the bleeding. Tears fell from her eyes in fear of losing such a young sweet boy. Allie knew it wasn't Aichi's fault that he didn't want to live.

'KAI YOU FUCKING BASTARD THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU YOU'LL BE WISHING YOU WERE DEAD!' Allie thought to herself furious at what Kai caused Aichi to do to himself.

Within seconds the guys working at the Café under her made their way to where Allie screamed.

"WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED?!" Matt asked covering his mouth with his hand in shock

"NO TIME TO EXPLAIN! SOMEONE CALL 911!" Allie yelled squeezing Aichi's bleeding hand hoping it acted as a tourniquet.

"ON IT!" Leo yelled pulling out is cellphone dialing 911.

"Matt, Luka, Max, Jude, and Jayden I need you to help!" Allie called out.

"Max you help Leo out when the ambulance comes! Luka help me with cleaning up Aichi! Matt help get some fresh water, and several cloths to clean him up! Jude keep an eye out for the ambulance! And Jayden help Matt get the First-Aid!" Allie instructed as everyone rushed to do as they were told.

Leo was on the phone with 911 telling them what the emergency was. Jude and Max stayed with him like Allie wanted them to. While Matt and Jayden got: fresh water, several cloths to help Luka clean off Aichi, large banages and arm wraps, and a separate bucket of water to dump the dirty rags in.

Within minutes everyone got everything Allie needed to help save Sendou. Luka helped her clean off the blood while Jayden with his helper Matt got fresh water and cloths when the first ones got to be too dirty to use anymore. Leo, Jude, and Max helped make sure the ambulance knew how to find them.

" what happened to Shadow?" Luka asked as he squeezed Shadow's arm to prevent more blood from spilling.

"It's a long story, but it involves the brunette that he was severing earlier today." Allie said

"Oh you that guy who thought he was someone else?" Luka asked his hands covered in fresh and old blood.

"Yes that the one. Shadow isn't his real name." Allie stated wiping thr sweat off her head.

"Then what is his name?" Luka asked

"Its Aichi Sendou the guy the brunette was hoping he'd never see again." Allie explained

"Aichi." Luka repeated

"The brunette's name is Kai Toshiki he's the one who caused Aichi here to run-away. He gave Sendou hope when he was young, and now he's the one who took that exact same hope away from him." Allie explained

"That bastard!" Jayden cussed punching the ground with his fist. Matt picked up Aichi's phone that was beside the unconscious teen.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Matt yelled reading the messages that Aichi sent to Kai just recently.

"What does it say?" Allie asked afraid of knowing.

"Kai is saying that he doesn't give a rat's ass if Aichi dies." Matt said his hands shaking as he continued to read.

"Next time I see him he'll be the one laying on the ground bleeding to death!" Luka said as Max told them the ambulance would be arriving soon. By the time it did most of the bleeding as slowed down, and it wasn't as grotesque as it was before.

"ITS THIS WAY!" Max with Leo and Jude lead the way to where everyone else was at. Once the EMT helped Aichi onto a stretcher, and once inside the ambulance only two people could come. Seeing as Allie was the adult she went with them along with Leo since he's the one who called 911. Everyone else has their license, so they'll be able to follow them to the hospital.

Inside the ambulance they've placrd and oxygen mask over Aichi's mouth.

"Can either of you explain to me what happened?" The one EMT guy asked

"It's easier if you just read the text messages off if his phone." Allie said handing the EMT guy Aichi's his phone. As he took the phone and begun reading it he started to understand the situation.

"I see so its a suicide case." Joshua the EMT guy said

"Sadly it is." Allie said somberly gently holding Aichi's hand wishing that he'd hadn't met Kai.

"From what I can tell so far that Aichi Sendou here lost a lot of blood already that its a miracle that he's still alive." Joshua said

***At the Hospital***

Within thirty minutes everyone that worked at the Café were at the hospital waiting to hear Aichi's results. The doctors had to do a blood transfusion since Aichi lost a massive amount of blood. The group has been waiting for the last forty-five minutes. In order to do a blood transfusion on Aichi the doctors had to do many critical steps to make sure the blood would be safe to use.

Allie along with her employees had to wait in the waiting-room until the doctors were absolutely sure that Aichi would or wouldn't make it.

" are you going to tell Aichi's family about any of this?" Max asked breaking the long uncomfortable silence.

"Even if I wanted to I don't have any of his personal information to do it." Allie said

"Oh, a run-away wouldn't give anyone their families number." Max said somberly seeing as he too was a run-away. He ran-away due to his father being an alcoholic, and his mother never was one to come home often enough for it to matter.

"Ironic isn't it you're also a run-away, but yet you don't understand the hell that Aichi could have been through." Allie said somberly lifting her head up to see Max.

"I might not be a run-away, but I know what it feels like to have someone you look up to crush your expectations." Leo said knowing all to well what that would feel like, and what the devastations could do to a person.

"I once looked up to my older brother Zane who is four years older than me. However, on my tenth birthday when my parents were too busy with work to come home to celebrate my expectations of him changed drastically. He beat me kicking me with his shoes. From that point on I never set my expectations that high on any person." Leo said telling his life problem.

"Aichi set his expectations way too high on Kai that once they were shattered he had no way of getting out of the deep hole he fell into." Max said

Just as Leo finished telling his story the one doctor came to them with the news. Everyone was afraid of hearing fearing that the news would be bad, but at the same time they all hoped the news would be good.

"I have good knows will make it, but he'll be unconscious for a few days since he lost a massive amount of blood." the doctor told them as everyone begun to cry in joy that he'll make it.

" do you have 's parent's numbers at all?" the doctor asked

"No sorry I don't. Just about everyone who works for me are run-aways looking for a decent job to keep them alive. So for that reason I don't ask for any of their families information from them." Allie explained

"I see that is a logical reason." the doctor said

"But we do still have Aichi's cellphone if you want to use that." Max said holding the bloodied phone in his hands.

"Thanks." the doctor said taking it to call Aichi's family

Shizuka: Hello sweetie.

Doctor: Sorry this isn't your son I'm a doctor at the hospital here.

Shizuka: Doctor?! What happened to my son?!

Doctor: He collapsed recently due to massive blood loss.

Shizuka: All I know is that my son hasn't come home for over a week. Why did he lose so much blood?!

Doctor: I think it's better if you asked you son that no me. If you see Kai Toshiki around be sure that he comes nowhere near Aichi here!

Shizuka: Why what did Kai do to my son?! From what I could tell they are great friends.

Doctor: Kai is the person responsible for your son being in the hospital in the first place.

Shizuka: Do you think it's severe that I'll have to get a restraining order on Kai?

Doctor: Yes, sadly I find what Kai lead your son to do severe enough that getting a restraining order might help put him at ease.

Shizuka: I see until Aichi is healed enough to see us again I'll work on getting the restraining order placed on Kai.

Doctor: Please do, and I'm sorry that you had to hear this.

Shizuka: Thanks, bye

Doctor: Bye

With that said he hung up the phone handing it back to Max.

"You can stay if you want, but I wouldn't want you cause any problems if you do." the doctor said heading back to check on Aichi.

***That Night***

Later that night while everyone outside Aichi's room were asleep someone payed him an unexpected visit.

"I found you Aichi!" Ren laughed

"I hope you find what I did to your friend exciting!" Ren said his eyes glowing as he went inside the sleeping teen's mind.

***In Aichi's Mind***

"I see you're still trying to find a way to ease your pain!" Ren said

"R…e…n…?!" Aichi said scared at seeing the second person who called him weak again.

"Yes, poor Aichi his idol crushed his dreams! Now he'll never love you back!" Ren mocked

"H…how…did you know?!" Aichi demanded

"That you had feelings for Kai? It was written all over your face!" Ren laughed

"SHUT UP!" Aichi yelled

"Did you find what I did to him exciting lowly piece of shit?" Ren asked grabbing a hold of Aichi's hand pulling him close to him.

"What do you mean?" Aichi asked

"I'm the one who made Kai became so cruel!" Ren said licking Aichi's ear teasing him for his own entertainment.

"St…stop! Give him… b…bac…k…!" Aichi argued weakly as the more Ren teased him the harder it got for him to resist.

"I want to watch you suffer! I love playing with new toys until they eventually break! Unless you want to become my toy foreve?!" Ren asked in a subductive voice

"Ah…no…st…stop…please…!" Aichi argued as Ren kissed him sending him over the edge completely. He could no longer think clearly as everything became fuzzy. What happened next was what Aicgi was saving for Kai, but since he'll never love him back it didn't matter anymore.

"So do you want to continue feeling pain, or do you want it to stop?" Ren asked loving the sight of Aichi beneath him.

"I rather feel pain than ever give up on Kai!" Aichi said as Ren yanked on his hair in anger.

"HE'LL NEVER FUCKING LOVE YOU BACK!" Ren yelled kissing him to shut him up.

"I don't care if he does or doesn't!" Aichi said infuriating Ren enough that he left the younger teen's mind.

***Reality***

Back outside of Aichi's mind Ren stood beside the hospital bed furious at what Aichi said to him. He knew if he made too much noise someone would come to check on him. As quietly as he came in he left.

In the morning the now black-haired teen was still unconscious. Everyone from the Café made the decision to stay at a hotel close to the hospital. So they all got up to leave to get everything they'll need to stay a while at a hotel. The doctors made frequent visits on Aichi to make sure he's alright.

***5 Days Later***

It took a whole five days for Aichi to regain consciousness again. The doctors say it wasn't a surprise seeing how much blood he lost. Once he was awake visitors could see him, but only one or two at a time not wanting to put too much pressure on him.

"Hello Aichi how are you feeling?" Allie asked softly

"Why am I still alive?" Aichi asked weakly

"Because I saved you." Allie said

"Why?" Aichi asked

"Because everyone who works at the Café are either ran-aways or just don't want to be at home. So you're not the only one here who's suffering." Allie said holding his hand gently squeezing it to give him some comfort.

"I love Kai no matter what. I know who caused him to become this way." Aichi said

"What do you mean?" Allie asked

"Ren Suzugamori is his name. He's the one who's been pulling the strings on Kai." Aichi said remembering what he and Ren did in his mind.

"Suzugamori isn't he the leader of Foo Fighters or something?" Allie asked

"Yes, he have a unique ability that causes the user's personality to do a 360°." Aichi said

"So how are you going to save Kai?" Allie asked both worried about him, but at the same time she's hoping everything will be alright.

"I don't know for sure, but I want to talk to him face to face again." Aichi said his eyes full of determination.

"That will be hard seeing as your mother got a restraining order placed on him." Allie said

"RESTRAINING ORDER?!" Aichi yelled causing a wave of pain to shoot through him.

"Yes." Allie said

"It's not Kai we need a restraining order on its Ren Suzugamori!" Aichi said

"What do you mean?" Allie asked confused

"I'll explain later! Do you have my cellphone?" Aichi asked

"Yes, Max kept it charged for you." Allie said handing it over to him


	4. Chapter 4: Kai

Author's Note: Everything belongs to Bushiroad and the manga author Akira Itou I only one my OC characters.

'thoughts'

"speaking out loud"

I would put the thought in Italic but I type all my fanfictions on my iPod which doesn't have Italic font.

Chapter 4: Kai

***Aichi's P.O.V.***

'Kai please come back to being yourself!'

'Kai I love you!'

'Why must I been you?'

'I rather it been me with PSYqualia then you!'

'Kai!'

I had so many thoughts going on in my head it made my head hurt. But one things was for sure I absolutely needed to see Kai again. I needed to snap him out of his PSYqualia. So I decided to call him.

Me: Kai!

Kai: What do you need prick?!

Me: I want to see you!

Kai: Why?!

Me: So help you!

Kai: Help me?! With what?!

Me: To snap you out of using PSYqualia!

Kai: Why do you fucking care?!

Me: Because I love you that's why!

Kai was too stunned to speak for a few moments.

Kai: You what?!

Me: I love you!

Kai: I fucking hate you!

Me: I don't care if you do!

Kai: SHUT UP!

Me: No I won't! Kai please I have to see you again!

Kai: You're in the hospital! Also I have a restraining order placed on me!

Me: I don't care!

Kai: Fine, but only because I want to see you crushed!

Me: You'll never crush me!

With that said he hung up his phone.

***That Night***

Around midnight when everyone was asleep, and the doctors didn't check up on me as often Kai showed up.

"What do you want?!" Kai asked pissed, but I didn't care as long as I could see him again. I knew I shouldn't be moving out of my bed, but for what I had to do I got out of bed. My feet nearly gave way however I stayed strong as I made my way over to him.

"Pathetic!" Kai hissed seeing me so weak. I soon stood in front of Kai who just stared at me. Despite me being a lot shorter than Kai I wrapped my arms around Kai's neck. At first he tried to resist me, but he wasn't trying that hard.

Just then when I brought our lips together I could see the old Kai in his eyes. I knew he was still in there somewhere.

"Kai I know that you find an ability such as the PSYqualia wrong, and that you would also find anyone who uses it weak. So why are you using it when you know you're not weak!" I said seeing him slowly come back after I called him weak.

"Shut up Aichi!" Kai yelled grabbing my hair. I didn't flinch when he grabbed my hair knowing it was what he wanted me to do. I wouldn't flinch even if he started beating me. I wouldn't flinch because I love him.

"Kai did you know I always looked up to you as my hero? I found you strong and independent unlike me who always got bullied. I wanted to become a person who'll help protect his friends and family no matter the cost. I'm glad that became my hero when you gave me my first Vanguard card. I know you're not superman, but I still found you perfect in my eyes." I said as Kai finally regained control over his body again. His eyes became less greedy, and more caring and loving like they were before.

"A…i…chi…?" Kai said not sure how to reply for everything he'd done.

"Yes, my love?" I said sweetly wrapping my arms around his neck again not caring if my body protested against it.

"I'm…sorry…for…every…thing…!" Kai said falling to the ground as I moved myself so that I wouldn't get crushed as he fell.

"I forgive you Kai." I whispered hugging him from behind letting my head rest against his shoulder as he cried. I whispered sweet words of comfort and ones of true love as he continued to cry. I knew if anyone saw us together they'll try to rip him away from me, but I'll fight for him because I love him.

"I love…you…Aichi…!" Kai said as his tears slowed down.

"I love you too." I said as I heard my hospital door open. It was the doctor checking up on me.

"KAI!" he yelled frurious at my love for being near me.

"STOP DOCTOR!" I screamed standing up to protect Kai. I wouldn't allow anyone to tear us apart ever again.

"AICHI GET AWAY FROM HIM!" the doctor ordered

"NO I WON'T!" I argued stretching my arms out acting like a human barrier between Kai and the doctor.

"AICHI HE'S THE ONE WHO PUT YOU HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!" the doctor said his words stung Kai reminding him of what he did to me.

"I LOVE KAI, AND I WON'T LET YOU SEPARATE US!" I said felling my strength slowly dissolve. I knew I shouldn't be moving around this much, but if I didn't he'll take Kai away from me maybe even forever.

"WHY OR HOW? HOW CAN YOU LOVE SOMEONE WHO ALMOST KILLED YOU?" the doctor asked taking a step towards me.

"KAI WASN'T IN HIS RIGHT MIND WHEN HE DID THAT! I DIDN'T KNOW HE WASN'T UNTIL RECENTLY THAT'S WHY! I LOVED KAI FOR YEARS THIS WAS ONLY A BUMP IN OUR ROAD!" I said feeling desperate as the doctor kept walking closer to me.

"HE WASN'T IN THE RIGHT MIND YOU SAY?! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE IS NOW?" the doctor asked as Kai stood up kissing me to prove to the doctor he is in the right mind now.

"I won't allow you to take me away from Aichi! I know I've done a lot of horrible things to him, but I'm going to set everything right by showing him the love he deserves." Kai said holding my hands as he kissed me again.

"I'll get you for sure one day bastard!" the doctor said leaving us alone. I fell into Kai's arms as all my strength left me as the doctor left.

"I'll help you back into bed." Kai said picking me up bridal style in his arms. I felt some embarrassment, but I had no energy to fight it, so I let him do whatever he wanted. That includes what we did together that night.

In the morning I awoke to see Kai still asleep in the small bed yet. Once everyone finds him here I know it was going to be a long day. I stared at him sleeping for a while until he woke up.

"Morning Aichi." Kai said wipping the sleep from his eyes.

"Morning Kai." I replied kissing him unable to resist it. I never wanted anyone to say we aren't made for eachother because we are. Around 10 everyone from the Café showed up. It took us until noon to get everyone to calm down, and explain everything again. At one everyone was no longer mad at Kai for what he did to me which made me happy they weren't mad.

"Now that I see him like this I can't help but say you look perfect for eachother." Luka said smiling brightly at me.

"Kai be sure not to hurt him again!" Max said as he too smiled. The rest said the same thing to us making both of us blush at the end.

***A Month Later***

It took an entire month to get the restraining order off of Kai. Until it was off I was unable to see him as often I would of liked too. By the time it was gone I moved in with Kai at his house.

However, Ren later tonight wasn't going let his new toy go that easily. He wanted me to suffer more.

"I wonder why he still loves a slut like you Aichi?" Ren purred walking closer to me as Kai stood between us.

"Slut?" Kai asked

"What he didn't tell you! I had sex with him before you claimed him. I love the expressed he made as I fucked him!" Ren purred at the memory of it.

"Aichi?!" Kai said confused

"It's true Kai, but it was the only way I was able to figure out how to get you back!" I said

"Yes, Kai he had to have sex with me in order to save your sorry ass!" Ren purred

"Shut it Ren! I didn't enjoy it with you!" I said

"Liar you enjoyed it a lot! You were moaning for me to give you more!" Ren said

"No I wasn't enjoying it at all!" I yelled scared that he'll tear us apart.

"Can you leave us alone Ren!" Kai demanded squeezing my head.

"My, my why should you care Kai?" Ren asked forcing him away from me leaving me vulnerable.

"Stop! Please Ren!" I begged weakly as tears begun to fall.

"You mean to say please Ren fuck me!" Ren laughed playing with my shorten hair in his hand.

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Kai yelled

"Take one more step closer and I'll slice his head off!" Ren threatened holding a dagger in his hand. Now I'm getting really scared of what he has instore for me. He held the dagger up against my cheek cutting it lightly. Tears fell like a waterfall in fear of what he's going to do to me.

"Your skin is so soft Aichi! Let me take it away from you!" Ren smirked cutting deep just below my right eye bringing the below my ear. Blood pooled out of the cut like a river. I never been this scared before in my life. My heart was beating so damn fast I bet Ren could hear it.

"Shh! Aichi don't cry." Ren purred licking the fresh wound.

"Please…just…leave…us…alone…!" I begged

"Still begging for that." Ren purred holding the dagger against my throat.

"Yes." I said

"Say you love me Aichi!" Ren purred

"No!" I protested as he pressed harder against my throat with his dagger.

"Say it Aichi or I'll slowly kill you!" Ren hissed

"I'll never say it when I already love Kai!" I argued as Ren begun making shallow gashes on my stomach. I'll take any torture he throws at me, but I'll never say I love him. Within minutes my shirt was shredded apart, and my skin covered in little slashes.

"AICHI!" Kai yelled wanting to save me I mouthed to him: Don't stop him, and I love him. I knew Ren would keep his promise by slicing my head off if Kai tried to help me.

"SAY IT YOU FUCKING WHORE!" Ren yelled as I shook my head angering him more. He punched my gut in anger when I refused him again knocking the wind out of me. To prove his point his forced me to kiss him in front of my love, Kai.

"You like it when men are rough with you!" Ren mocked as he continued to kiss me. I bit his tongue to try and stop him from kissing me. But what it did instead was get me slapped hard across the face by Ren.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING BITE ME YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT!" Ren yelled as he moved on to punching my gut instead. I was glad he didn't resort to other means when I bit him.

"If you want the pain to stop all you need to do is say you love me." Ren said teasing my nipples by sucking on them. He then to get even with me he bit down on my nipple drawing blood.

"AHHHH! STOP OT HURTS!" I yelled


	5. Chapter 5: Kai II

**Author's Note: Everything belongs to Bushiroad and the manga author Akira Itou I only one my OC characters. Sorry I haven't updated anything in quite a while. I go from show to show, so it all depends on what show I'm into at the moment if I update or post a new story. I just finished watching season 4 of Vanguard, so now I'm back into this series. Sorry also that I left this story on such a cliffhanger too don't hate me please. _**

**I messed up my email recently which messed up my notes on my iPod. So I lost around 100 of my stories, and I also lost everything I added to my fanfictions too which sucks a lot.**

**School this year is tortour I have American Government my senior year of highschool. And I never had so much homework in one class before as well. **

**I don't like how season 5 is going to be. I want to watch Vanguard with Aichi Sendou and Kai in it, but season 5 their both missing. S**

'_thoughts'_

"speaking out loud"

Chapter 5: Kai II

***Kai's P.O.V.***

All I could do was watch in horror as my love of my life got brutally beaten by someone who I once considered a friend. I wanted nothing more than to stop Ren from harming Aichi, but I couldn't find the strength to move from my spot to do anything. I watched as Aichi got kicked in the gut over and over again. Ren showed no mercy as he abused the person I thought he loved. We may be rivals after the same person's love, but I never would of thought he might become jealous and possessive of him. I also never thought he'd pick up a dagger, and use it as a weapon like he's doing right now.

'_Why Ren I thought you promised not to hurt Aichi again?'_

'_I thought you also loved him?'_

'_Someone help Aichi!'_

'_Someone stop Ren!'_

'_Stop please stop Ren!'_

I had so many thoughts going through my mind that I couldn't stop my heart from racing. I never felt such fear for someone else's safety and well-being until I fell in love with Aichi Sendou. I mean I do worry about Taishi Miwa one of my good friends. However, I don't worry about Miwa anywhere near as much as I do with Aichi.

I could see the helplessness reflecting in Aichi's blue irises. I made my heart stop seeing the person I love looking at me with those pleading eyes, and I'm too scared to move and help him. Those pleading eyes broke me every second I look into them. Then the next thing I saw was more red as Ren slashed Aichi's left eye. The smaller teen screamed in excruciating agony. He tried crawling away from the attacker, but Ren just grabbed him, dragging him back to torment him some more.

"REN STOP PLEASE DON'T!" Aichi screamed, crying so hard that made me want to hold him in my arms until he stopped crying.

"Yes, scream more Aichi I'll only hurt you more!" Ren laughed maniacally as he grabbed him by the hair.

"K…a…i..!" Aichi weakly called out my name looking at me with those terror filled eyes.

"Kai why don't you save him? After all, you _do _love him, right?" Ren taunted trying to provoke me into doing something stupid that would get me hurt.

"I do love him a lot more than I thought you did, Ren!" I replied, not taking his bait like he thought I would.

"I do love Aichi _a lot _too, but I don't think he _needs you _Kai!" Ren taunted again forcefully kissing Aichi's cracked lips again.

'I'm sorry' I mouthed to Aichi hoping he'd understand my fear of not helping. Its not like I don't want to save him becauseI really do want to, but the sight of Ren with that dagger prevented me from doing it.

Aichi's clothes were now not only torn and ripped, but they were also drenched in dried and fresh blood. His shirt he had on was now barely recognizable as a shirt anymore. It was originally a plain white shirt, but now was covered in crimson red with the fresh and old blood stains. I could tell Aichi was gradually reaching his breaking point from the way his life was slowly draining from his eyes. He isn't by any means weak like he was in Elementary school when he got bullied often. No those days were long gone now Aichi has been now a rather strong willed person who's willing to go out of his way to help someone he might not even know. Aichi is a pure hearted person who has a large heart for people.

"Aichi you look so _pathetic!_" Ren spat in complete mockery as he again slashed at Aichi. He slashed at his right arm, leaving a rather large and deep gash in its place. Blood begun to oozing out of his new injury covering the light colored carpet drenched in more blood.

I took the brief opportunity while Ren was detracted to text Miwa. I knew I couldn't stop Ren on my own. I told him I had no time to explain the situation, and he _NEEDED TO GET HERE QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE._ It didin't take him long to reply to my text saying he'll be here within five minutes due to being rather near by already.

'Miwa will be here in five minutes.' I mouthed to Aichi so that Ren wouldn't try to stop him from getting here in time. He nodded his head slightly, unable to move much without feeling excruciating pain.

"Aichi do you love me?" Ren asked holding, the dagger against his neck.

'_Please hurry Miwa or Aichi might actually die!' _I begged praying that he'll make it in time. Just when Aichi was about to collapse from blood lost Miwa came in time. I didn't need to explain anything he pretty much figured it out when he saw blood on the carpet, and by seeing Ren with the source of the blood in his hands.

"Help me! Aichi needs to get to the closest hospital ASAP!" I begged for the first time in my life. He nodded his head, understanding the emergency by looking at the amount of blood on the ground, and he didn't even get a look at Aichi's condition yet either.

'take care of Aichi I'll handle Ren.' I mouthed to Miwa the instructions to him as I found the strength to stand again after so long my legs felt somewhat stiff.

"REN LET HIM GO NOW!" I yelled, running at him grabbing him from behind. I held his arms back to prevent him from using the dagger as Miwa got Aichi away from him. I could tell Miwa was very surprised at how severely he was injured when he first saw Aichi. Once we got him a safe distance away from Ren I let him go, but not without punching him a few times until he passed out. Then Miwa dialed, 911 sending Aichi again to the hospital. Now for a second time because of me he's been sent to a hospital.

'_Please forgive me Aichi, and I still love you.' _I once again begged for forgiveness.

***A Few Days Later***

its been five days since Aichi was admitted to the hospital again because I couldn't do anything to save him. I knew the doctor from before would use this opportunity to separate Aichi from me again. The doctor was extremely pissed that Aichi was at the hospital after such a short amount of time. However, on the fifth day he was allowed to leave the hospital.

"Its all _your _fault that Mr. Sendou had to come back to the hospital!" the doctor yelled at me knowing full well that I knew that it was my fault.

"I'm sorry its all my fault." I said my allowing my head to fall downcast in order to hide my eyes from his sight.

"No Kai its not your fault I would have been the same for me if I was there." Miwa argued trying to protect me from losing Aichi again.

"How ISN'T it Mr. Kai's fault?" the doctor asked furiously at what Miwa said to him.

"Its not Kai's fault its Ren's fault for being psychotic person!" Miwa argued hotly. The doctor left not wanting to argue over the matter much longer than he needs to.

"Kai believe me isn't your fault!" Miwa said calmly trying to help me protect my love of my life.

"How isn't is my fault?" I asked, snapping at him, neither of them noticing they had a peanut gallery throughout the argument.

"Um…sorry…to…interupt." Aichi spoke up making both Kai and Miwa jump in surprise. Neither of them had noticed that he was there the entire time being too caught up in their argument.

"How long have you been here for?" Miwa asked calmly, not wanting to hurt Aichi by saying he hadn't noticed him at all.

"From the very beginning; you didn't notice did you?" Aichi asked in a soft voice reflecting how much it hurt him not to have been noticed at all.

"No, sorry Aichi I didn't notice." Miwa confessed, softly not trying to hurt him anymore than he already was.

"Oh I see its fine." Aichi laughed softly despite me knowing he shouldn't be the one laughing. No Aichi shouldn't be able to laugh this easily with Miwa. He's in more agony than he'll ever allow himself to admit to anyone. Aichi is just too stubborn to admit when things get to be too much for him to handle. I should know because I caused him to cut himself, and I caused him to _nearly_ die on me. I should be apologizing to Aichi right now instead of not saying anything at all, but the words won't leave my throat.

I want him to know how important he truly is to me. I want Aichi to know that I'll never hurt him again like I already have. I want him to know just how precious he is to me. I want to show him the love that he deserves to have. However, I first need to earn back his trust in me before I can do anything else to help him. Right now Aichi is as fragile as a thin piece of glass ready to shatter with a single light strike. I know that right now his mind is just as fragile as his body. He nearly died twice one because of me, and the second was due to Ren Suzugamori a few days ago. I know that Aichi needs someone beside him that can show him that he's not only loved, but also that he's never alone anymore unlike before. I'll _never allow _Ren to control me with his Psyqualia ability again.

"Aichi." I called out in desperation, knowing if I don't act soon I'll lose the only chance at earning back his trust.

"Yes, sweetie?" Aichi replied in a soothing tone that I knew that I truly did love him from the bottom of my heart.

"Do you blame me for this at all?" I asked, fearing that he'll say 'yes' to the question. But at the same time I had to know his answer to it. I needed to know if he blamed me for having him in the hospital not only once but twice now.

"No I do not blame you, Toshiki. At least my heart tells me not to blame you for any of this. I can't explain why I don't any better than that I'm sorry." Aichi replied honestly holding his hand close to his heart.

'_Thank you for not blaming me Aichi_.'

"Thanks Aichi." I said calmly allowing my heart to stop racing at the thought of having him love me again.

"I'll leave you two love birds alone, bye Kai and Aichi." Miwa laughed humorously as he waved goodbye to the two of us leaving us alone together. Silence surrounded the both of us with neither of us knowing what to say in the uncomfortable silence.

**Author's Note: I'm sorry for the very long delay for updating this fanfiction. I started my last year of highschool, and I've been swamped with homework everyday. So its been hard to make time for anything else recently. I hope this chapter will get you to forgive me. **

**Read and Review please sorry about this cliffy. **

**What do you think going to happen in the next chapter? You'll have to wait again sorry I'll try having the next chapter up by the end of the month hopefully ^_^**

** Please also read ****Dark Side of Love**** its my other Vanguard fanfiction. **


	6. Chapter 6: Relationship

**Author's Note: I hoped you've enjoyed this story so far, and again I'm sorry for not updating for quite a while. I hope these next few chapters will make it up to all of you who've read this up to this point. I don't own any of these characters other than the OC I've made in the previous chapters.**

Chapter 6: Relationship

***Aichi's P.O.V.***

"I'm sorry Aichi." Kai said, grabbing my hand in his hands.

"Not here please." I asked softly embarrassed that we're having this conversation in a hospital of all places.

"Alright let's go to my place I'll make something to eat." Kai said, smiling at me making my heart race and my face cherry red. We walked in yet another uncomfortable silence to Kai's house. It took a bit to walk there from the hospital. The whole way there neither of us could find the words to say to break the silence.

Once we've reached Kai's apartment we both took off our shoes at the door inside.

"What are you hungry for?" Kai asked heading to the kitchen.

"Um…curry on rice…maybe…?" I replied, confused as to what I wanted to eat. I was too embarrassed to be completely alone with Kai in his home to think straight. My heart wouldn't stop racing no matter how hard I tried to calm it.

"Curry on rice that shouldn't be too hard to make." Kai said calmly to himself as he got the ingredients: onions, carrots, potatoes, beef, pork, chicken, and the rice. Once he got those ingredients he had to root through his cabinet to find the right oil to use, and everything else he'll need.

"Sorry that you have to make the food." I said softly, still unable to calm my racing heart.

"No, it's fine Aichi don't apologize. It's going to take probably an hour to make, so find something to do until it's done." Kai said as he prepared everything.

"Alright." I said looking around his house to find something to do until the food is done. The house wasn't that big with it only having 1200 square feet in total. However, in Japan 1500 square feet for an apartment is actually rather rare, and can be very expensive too.

It took me a bit to find something to do. While searching the place I found a red notebook that looked like its been through a lot. When I made my way back to the living-room I opened it. Inside was completely covered with words and dates

_4 Years Ago:_

_It was like any other day for an Elementary student like me. Nothing really changed since I started school here, but the first change wasn't what I wanted._

_ I just recently gave a shorter student Blaster Blade Vanguard card. He's the one student who always got bullied and picked on. He doesn't speak much probably fearing that he would get him in trouble. Even when he does speak its very quiet and hard to hear. I knew it wasn't right for someone as small as him to be bullied all the time, but I just couldn't find enough evidence to prove that he was bullied._

_Everyday he would come into school with various bandages on his face and arms. He wouldn't say what gave him those injuries. The teachers would often call his parents about how often he was in the nurse's office. But no matter how often they called nothing seemed to change._

_I fell in love with him after watching him for a few months. I hardly ever talked to him, but I knew there was something special about this one boy. I gave him Blaster Blade to give him the courage to become much stronger, and as a small token of my love for him. I was just about ready to confess my feelings to him when the first changed happened. It was like any other typical day for me, but that's typical day was when I lost both my parents in an accident. It hit me very hard to hear my parents were now…dead. I didn't understand what 'death' meant at that time, but I had to move away to live with my uncle._

_I had to move away from the person I fell in love with. I didn't even get the chance to confess to him, let alone a farewell to him._

_The person I fell in love was Aichi Sendou._

-_Toshiki Kai_

As I read that story I started to cry unknowingly. Only when I saw several wet marks on the paper did I notice I was actually crying. Kai has been in love with me ever since Elementary school.

"Aichi the food is don-?" Kai called walking in seeing me crying again.

"What's wrong?" Kai asked, walking towards me until he was right in front of me.

"Th…this!" I said, holding out the notebook to him.

"I see, you've found this." Kai said somberly already knowing what's written in it.

"You've been in love with me ever since Elementary. But why didn't you ever tell me?" I asked, still crying unable to stop the tears.

"I just was afraid you wouldn't feel the same." Kai said, holding my hand gently as I looked directly into his emerald eyes.

"I've been in love with you just as long." I confessed not looking away from his eyes.

"Will you go out with me then, Aichi?" Kai asked, blushing slightly quickly turning away to hide it.

"Yes, I'd love to." I replied, laughing at the way he denied his blushing. Then, without warning Kai brought his lips to mine. He kissed me wanting to prove he's willing to change to keep me. He only broke away when he heard an alarm in the kitchen.

"Shit!" Kai cussed rushing to turn the food down. I just sat there laughing at the sight of a forgetful Kai. However, while he was away for a few minutes I felt my PSYqualia ability activate.

"_Enjoy you're peaceful life with Kai while you can. Because I'm going to separate both of you soon. And then Aichi you'll be all mine. I'll force myself on you whenever I want, so be prepared to be shattered completely. You've got until November which is four months from now._

_Love, Ren Suzugamori_

I knew that Ren would eventually come after me, but I never would have thought it would this soon. I also knew if I told Kai he would seriously hurt him even if he deserved it. I wouldn't tell Kai until Ren makes his move.


	7. Chapter 7: Ren's First Move

**Author's Note: I'm so happy that I'm finally at chapter 7 already ^_^ I hope you've enjoyed it so far, because this is going to be a bit cheezy. I don't own any of these characters in this fanfiction, and I don't make any profit off this either.**

**Warning: this chapter will contain mentions and graphic description of rape, if this offends you don't read it.**

'_thoughts'_

'_**Ren communicating'**_

'_Dream'_

Chapter 7: Ren's First Move

***Aichi's P.O.V.***

It's been close to a month since Toshiki and I began to date each other. I haven't told him about what Ren told me via over PSYqualia abilities. So far being with Toshiki has been like a dream come true. I've never been happier in my entire life until now. I wouldn't know that Toshiki could be so romantic to me.

Once a few weeks ago on our first date he got me a bouquet of red roses, and then took me out to a very expensive restaurant for dinner.

Then he let me get anything on the menu, and the rest of dinner we just talked just about anything. I nearly came out of and confessed what Ren is going to do to me in three months from now. However, I quickly changed the subject to something completely different. But that made Toshiki very suspicious of my behavior when I did that. However, Toshiki didn't push for any information from me at the moment.

"Aichi!" Toshiki called calmly out holding my hand as we walked outside.

"Yes, Toshiki?" I asked very content holding hands like we're doing at the moment.

"What are you hiding from me?" Toshiki asked, calmly not wanting to sound intrusive.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not honestly sure how to tell you." I confided being completely honest with him.

"What do you mean?" Toshiki asked, as we walked around without any destination in our minds.

"I'm afraid to tell you." I answered, softly that was just barely above a whisper. I hung my head low to hide my falling tears that fell from my eyes. I'm so terrified that Ren would tear us apart completely. I finally found true love, but only to lose it a few months later.

'_What do I need to do to finally live happily?'_

'_What did I do to deserve this?'_

"Aichi, look at me please!" Toshiki insisted calmly making me look directly into his emerald eyes through my tears.

"I'm so terrified!" I finally capitulated my fears to him after an entire month of dating. I let all the tears fall without trying to hold them back, I was just that scared of Ren. Luckily the street was practically empty, so not many people stared at me as I cried my heart out.

"Let's go home and talk about it, alright." Toshiki said, calmly as he dragged me back to his apartment that I now called home. Once we finally arrived home my cries subsided to mere hiccups. I sat down on his comfy black sofa in the living-room while I waited for him to make a cup of hot cocoa for the both of us. While I sat alone I got another message from the tormentor known as Ren Suzugamori.

'_**Poor, little Aichi he's going to lose his true love all because he's too weak to stop him from leaving! What are you going to do to stop him? Do you even truly love him, Aichi? Does he even truly love you back? If you want the pain to finally come to an end all you need to do is leave Kai Toshiki for me. I'll treat you like you deserve to be treated which would be like the slut that you are! I can't wait until you're all mine, Aichi!**_

_**-Until next time, love Ren Suzugamori**_

That was now the second time that Ren contacted me via PSYqualia ability, and both times it gave me an extreme migraine. Just then Toshiki returned with two hot cup of cocoa handing me my as he sat down beside me on the sofa.

"Please tell me Aichi what you're so afraid of." Toshiki asked, as he sipped his hot drink carefully not wanting to burn his tongue.

"R…e…n…!" I choked out the confession at last after not telling him for an entire freaking month.

"REN?" Toshiki asked, shocked to hear that name again after what he already did to me recently.

"He's going to tear us apart in November." I conceded softly drinking my cocoa.

"That BASTARD! WHAT'S HE GOING TO DO?" Toshiki yelled in vehement at what Ren might or actually going to do to me this time. He already got me nearly killed by Toshiki by controlling him with PSYqualia, and the second time he almost chopped me into tiny pieces with his dagger. Now he's after me for a third time as if twice wasn't enough for him already.

"He said he's going to rape me, and he's going to force himself on me whenever he wants to. Toshiki I'm afraid of Ren." I replied, trembling like a leaf at the thought of Ren raping me. He already tormented me with the dagger nearly killing me for the second time this year. I began to cry again as images of Ren forcing himself on me flooded my mind as I was too powerless to stop them. Toshiki sat his drink down as he wrapped his arms around me allowing me to feel safe as I continued to cry.

"Shh, Aichi its alright, nothing id going to happen to us. I won't let anyone sever our love for each-other." He said, in my ear as he continued to whisper soothing words in my ear. He did that until I stopped crying.

"PSYqualia is how he's been communicating with me so far. I just talked to me for the second time today while you were making the cocoa. This time he told me I was going to lose you because I'm too weak to stop you from leaving. He also said do we truly love each-other!" I admitted, trembling at the thought of losing Toshiki to Ren.

"I love you Aichi, and I'll never leave you for anyone else." Toshiki said, kissing me gently.

"I'm tired Toshiki." I said, yawning as I wiped the sleepiness from my eyes with my hand. My eyes gradually started to droop down into the realm of fantasies and the unlimited amount of possibilities.

"Alright, I'll stay here beside you." Toshiki said, bridal carrying me to our bedroom.

That night was the start of Ren's torments. He started to make his move tonight. And this night would start to test our love for each-other too. What I didn't understand until much later was how Ren was able to communicate so vividly.

***Aichi's Dream***

***Aichi's P.O.V.***

_I was in our house like I always do now that I'm dating Kai. However, the air around this place felt much heavier and darker than before. It gave me goosebumps just standing here._

_"Toshiki! Where are you?" I called out slowly walking through the house. The silence that surrounded me made me skeptical and on guard._

_"You won't find Kai Toshiki here anymore, Aichi Sendou!" Ren said, walking up from behind me startling me._

_"R…E…N…!" I choked out trembling in place unable to move. I was paralyzed to my spot in fear._

_"You're mine now!" Ren smirked forcefully grabbing me by my wrist, as he roughly began dragging me to the bedroom._

_"LET GO! REN DON'T! I screamed as he tossed me roughly on the bed. He then cuffed my wrists to the bedpost to prevent me from escaping._

_Ren then kissed me on the lips until I opened my mouth. While he did that he teased my nipples._

_"Your nipples are so damn hard! Ren teased pinching them sending me over the edge. I tried to struggle away, but the cuffs kept me in place._

_"STOP! REN PLEASE! DON'T!" I screamed, crying in fear as he continued to rape me. Then he moved further down, removing my pants. My heart sank in terror, knowing full well what he's going to do._

_"I love you Aichi!" Ren whispered in my ear as he stretched my entrance out._

_"HNG! AHH! NGH!" I moaned surprisingly as he thrust his fingers in and out._

_"Are you enjoying this?" Ren asked mockingly thrusting roughly into me._

_"__NO! I'M NOT!" I yelled as I watched him penetrate me. It hurt like hell being so roughly torn. He screwed me over and over in just about every position imaginable._

_Despite being a damn dream it felt so damn real._

***Dream End***

***Aichi's P.O.V.***

Then I woke up with a start sweeting buckets. My heart wouldn't stop racing as I thought about the dream. Then my breathing drastically started to accelerate at an unbelievable rate, making me unable to control my hyperventilating. I could only see the images of Ren raping me in front of me. I couldn't even see Toshiki who was laying beside me anymore. Everything was black and white around me. Black splotches filled my field of vision as my breathing only continued to hasten at a very fast rate.

Toshiki noticed my distress when I suddenly shot up out of bed.

"Aichi, what's wrong?" Toshiki asked, extremely worried about me.

"R…e…n…!" I managed to say through my panic attack.

"Ren? Calm down Aichi." Toshiki insisted worried grabbing my shoulder suddenly making me jump in bewilderment. I slowly turned my head towards him. What he saw probably shocked him completely.

"Calm down Aichi. It's just me, Toshiki your boyfriend." Toshiki said, softly pulling me into a tight embrace. At first it surprised me, but soon being in his arms managed to calm me down a bit. I stopped hyperventilating after a few minutes.

"I had a dream." I spoke up my voice still very uneven in fear.

"Shh, nothing going to happen so go on." Toshiki said, rocking me back and forth slightly.

"I was in our house here, but everything around me felt dark and heavy. I felt like someone was suffocating me from behind me. As I called out your name you weren't there. Instead I was greeted by Ren Suzugamori." I explained trembling at the thought of what he did next. Tears began to fall as my boyfriend continued to hold me close.

"I promise Ren won't take you away from me." My wonderful, caring boyfriend said to me.

"He said you weren't here anymore as he forcefully dragged me to our bed. Where he then began to…to…!" I said, unable to finish the story.

"What did he do?" Toshiki asked, trying not to sound angry.

"He…raped…me…!" I finally finished feeling so dirty now. To have someone force themselves on to me so easily made me feel so dirty and filthy. Like no matter how many times I take a shower this feeling wouldn't leave.

'_I'm filthy now!'_

'_Toshiki won't want to love someone as dirty and filthy as me anymore!'_

'_I don't want Toshiki to love me, I'm too damn filthy to deserve his devotion!'_

'_I've been contaminate by Ren!'_

'_I've been too soiled to deserve anyone's love!'_

So many morbid thoughts continued to flood my mind as I was powerless to stop them from entering my mind.

'_Maybe I never was meant to fall in love with someone as caring as Kai Toshiki in the first place?' _

'_Maybe Ren was correct about saying that we don't actually deserve each-other love?' _

"I'm so dirty now." I mumbled as my head was downcast to prevent Toshiki from seeing how broken I felt.

"Aichi, I know you're not filthy nor are you dirty. Believe me, you are one of the purest humans I know; probably you're the only pure person I know. So don't call yourself that, because you're not filthy or dirty." Toshiki said, lifting my chin up with his fingers.

"But, I was raped by another man who wasn't you, Toshiki!" I said, looking into his eyes.

"I love you even if you ever became dirty I'll still love you just as I do now." He said in a sincere voice that made me believe him.


	8. Chapter 8: Mid-August & September Part 1

**Author's Note: This chapter and the next will cover the months between mid-August through November. I hoped everyone who read this so far as enjoyed it. This chapter and the next will be very angsty and dark, but I need them to be that way. The past few chapters will be the lightest ones for while sorry about that. This chapter will be more complex as it will go between Kai's and Aichi's Point of View. So please pay attention to when the point of view changes alright ^_^**

**Be sure to Read and Review it always helps me know how's my writing as improved. Also if you want to see more information about how the story is going to be updated look at my profile. **

'_thoughts'_

"Normal speaking"

Chapter 8: Mid-August and September Part I

***Aichi's P.O.V.***

A little over two weeks has passed since the vivid dream with Ren raping. Despite being mid-August now the weather hasn't gotten very cold just yet. Its has been staying between the high of 81°f and the low of merely 74°f outside. I've been skittish whenever anyone touches me ever since that dream. No matter how many times Toshiki tried will happen between us despite Ren's attempts. I'm still terrified that I'll lose whenever someone touches me in any way. Each time someone even if its Toshiki I jump a foot to any even the slightest touches. I image it would be Ren behind me whenever someone touches.

'_I'm scared things won't change!'_

'_If I don't get over this fear that I might become too much burden to him, and then he'll leave me!' _

And ever since then I'll I've been thinking about Toshiki might actually leave me for being too much of a burden to him. I might in the end lose him for the exact reason that Ren told me I would, for being too weak to prevent him from leaving. To make things even worse for the past few nights now Toshiki has been staying out all night, and only to return early the following morning. I've tried asking him about why he was going out so much recently, but he dodges the question each time I ask him leading me to give up on asking him after several futile attempts.

Each time he goes out I plummet into a much deeper state of depression than when Toshiki called me Team Quadrifoglio's weakest link. This state of utter darkness where no one can find any ray of hope is so much harder to stay sane without Toshiki keeping me grounded to the Earth. I never knew that there was such an empty world out there until now. I need to have Toshiki beside me to keep me above the raging water that I'm swimming through.

I stopped enjoying eating Toshiki's wonderfully delicious homemade cooking. I stopped sleeping, having tranquil sleeping at night without having someone else sharing the same bed with. Even when I saw my boyfriend, I can't find the specs that gave me the will to always smile brightly at him each time I see him. I stopped caring about my well-being instead I preferred to just lay in bed unmoved to get up for anything. I stopped even the exhilarating adrenaline rush I got every single time I played Vanguard with anyone too.

'_Maybe this was the reason I was born?'_

'_To be forever tormented by God above, for ever naively thinking I was worthy to even be in love!'_

'_I was a mistake to be born in the first place!'_

I can't stop any of these pessimistic thoughts in my head no matter if I dared to try to. I might actually start to believe those thoughts soon if Toshiki doesn't stop me first. That is what scares the most that I might be too far gone already to be saved by Toshiki. I'm also afraid that what Ren told me about being too weak to keep my best thing that ever happened to me from leaving.

'_I need to become much, much stronger soon!'_

'_If I don't soon I'll make things much worse with things not getting any better.'_

I've been constantly thinking about the pocket-knife I found in the dark alleyway. I kept it for some odd reason I'll never understand for my entire life. I got this feeling that I'll need it later on, but Toshiki confiscated it shortly I brought him back to his senses. I understand why he took it from me fearing that I might cut myself once again. I might think that at this right that I'll actually use the blade on myself soon. I knew that when I first picked up that blade, then brought the sharp metal blade across my skin that I would regret it later. Such a terrible addiction such as cutting was a mistake, but at that time when Toshiki flat out told me that I was too damn weak I had nothing else on my mind. Nothing except something, anything to lessen the pain I felt in my heart; it didn't matter what it was as long as it helped some.

The one thing that's been irritating recently is the persistent silence surrounding not just me, but also the entire complex of Toshiki's apartment. With him not here much at night silence has become my new constant companion. I don't find this eery sensation any more exciting than being alone without him. This sensation wouldn't concede all my efforts were in vain the only remedy would be having those bright days to return. The always nagging silence is driving me into pandemonium.

I might be too far gone to have any way of ever returning to the person I used to be a few weeks ago. I rather be in the depression I was at when I worked at the trap café with Mrs. Wher as the owner. Back then Toshiki might have been in the control of PSYqualia with the help of Ren Suzugamori. I know that I'm gradually slipping away from all sense of sanity.

'_Why do I suffer all the time?'_

"To…shi…ki…! Help me! Save me from myself!" I wailed all alone into a pillow that smelled too much like Toshiki for my liking. I continued to to repetitively call out his name, but none of those calls got any responses. My eyes were probably not only black from the insomnia at night, but also red and puffy from crying now too.

***Kai's P.O.V***

The past few nights now I've been going out at night without telling Aichi Sendou, my love of my life at all. I know I really should tell him the reason for my sudden disappearance at night, but I thought he'd need a few days to himself to recover. It pains me to leave him all alone at night with Ren after him now too, but I believe this is the best solution to help amend the damage Ren did to him.

However, ever since I started going out at night Aichi whenever I return in the morning looked more and more exhausted. He doesn't relish eating any my wonderful home-made cooking anymore. He doesn't even welcome me home with his bright smile anymore either. That is what frightens me the most not seeing him smile at me whenever I come home. I fell madly in love with his cheerful smile he always seemed to wear on his face. His smile was the ever present sun in the sky every morning. Without, it was like the world entered a period of an apocalypse without any sign of the sun returning soon.

'_Aichi, please be alright!'_

'_I'll never leave you I love you too much to ever think about leaving you!'_

Where I go during the night, you might ask? I go to underground Vanguard fighting for a bit each night. I go to keep my skills from rusting too much since I don't play with Aichi much anymore.

'_Come to think of it Aichi doesn't even seem to get that thrill playing Vanguard anymore!'_

'_Just how far has he fallen already?'_

Other than the underground fights I sometimes just aimlessly walk around town. A few times doing that I meet up with Miwa to have a nice chat for the first time in a while. Aichi and I haven't had a proper conversation in a few weeks. I told the overly friendly blond about Aichi seeing it was appropriate as he had helped me save him from Ren the last time I saw him. I didn't tell him the exact details of Aichi's dream it wasn't my place to say it. I told him that Ren did something to him using his PSYqualia ability causing him to be skittish more often than compared to before. Miwa was understanding with everything until I told him I gave Aichi some extra space the past few nights.

"KAI YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" Miwa cussed surprising me, some I've known him for years, and he wasn't one for cursing with strong vulgar words much. He stood up abruptly in the empty café pounding both his balled up fists on the table. Making the glass plates and cups to shake at the sudden impact on the wooden table.

"What?" I replied in a nonchalant voice shrugging my shoulders as I calmly sipped my drink.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE?" Miwa yelled, pounding his fists on the table again. I never saw this level-headed man ever this angry, and so out of character too.

"What do you mean?" I asked just as calmly as before sipping my drink.

"WHAT? DON'T TELL ME YOUR THAT STUPID?!" Miwa yelled furiously, his voice seeping with venom with each word he said came out with even more venom than the previous word. I didn't, no at that time I just couldn't believe how stupid I was. At the time I sincerely believed that by giving Aichi some extra space at night would actually help him recover quicker, but by being with Miwa now made me realize just how wrong I was. In truth the extra space would do so much more damage than any good once I came to realize it. I learned just how painful the truth could and would be when dealing with desires.

"Come with me, _**Kai**_!" Miwa insisted as I payed for the meal quickly before following him outside. It was still decently early in the morning, being 4:36 in the morning yet. I walked behind him as he lead me to the underground Vanguard fighting area.

"Want to fight?" I asked, knowing that I was stronger than him.

"No, this can't be solved with a _STUPID _card fight! I brought you here to remind you that this is how alone Aichi feels right now!" Miwa said grabbing me by the collar of my shirt. His eyes glaring darkly at me making me shiver in fear. I never thought I'd see Taishi Miwa so violently enraged at me.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? AICHI IS NOT ALONE!" I yelled back at him now getting angry for saying that Aichi is alone through all this.

"YES, HE IS! KAI, **YOUR LEAVING HIM ALL ALONE AT NIGHT! **Do you think giving him that many hours alone will actually help him recover?" Miwa screamed at me shaking me roughly by the collar. He might be shorter than me, but that didn't stop him from putting all his strength into shaking me violently to prove his point.

"I don't understand what you're saying Miwa." I confessed finally looking away from Miwa's deathly glare. I feel so confused about everything now after talking to him this morning. I thought I was doing the right thing, and now he tells me I'm not.

'_What should I do?'_

'_I'm not sure anymore.'_

'_Miwa tell me what should I do now?' _

"You need to go tell Aichi why you've gone out the passed few nights. Explain everything to him, and pray he'll forgive you. Because if it was me in Aichi's place I wouldn't forgive you no matter how much you begged me to. Aichi may have a big heart to forgive people, but you might be too late to stop him from hating you for the rest of his life." Miwa explained to me making me feel so damn stupid. I once again might be the one to end our relationship. I already nearly got him killed twice this year, and what I just did is worse than anything I've done so far.

'_Please, Aichi forgive me.'_

'_I'm sorry for being naïve.'_

'_I love you so much that I became blinded by my selfishness to see what I did wrong.'_

"I'm sorry." I said, softly avoiding looking directly into his eyes. All my fighting spirit just left when I came to the conclusion that due to the consequences of my actions I caused Aichi to suffer even more than I wanted him to.

"DON'T APOLOGIZE TO ME! APOLOGIZE TO AICHI!" Miwa yelled releasing his grip on my collar. However, his malicious glare didn't leave his face while he looked at me.

"Thank you." I said softly running like there was no tomorrow not even noticing as the cold rain fell on me. The pouring down rain didn't even concern me any with the thought of Aichi never forgiving me plagued my mind.

_ 'Please forgive me, Aichi!'_

_ 'I'm so terribly sorry.'_

It didn't take me very long to reach my apartment, but I was completely drenched due to the torrential downpour outside. When I got inside I removed my just as wet shoes on my red-ish brown rug by the entrance. I went into the bathroom to get a towel to dry myself off with. The entire time Aichi hasn't even greeted me home yet. Making this nagging feeling that something extremely bad going to happen really soon. My heart began to accelerate as an adrenaline rush kicked all my senses into overdrive. My thoughts begun to swarm with every negative possibility imaginable.

"AICHI! AICHI! WHERE ARE YOU!" I called out in panic, dropping the now wet towel on the ground in the bathroom. I raced through each and every room in my apartment starting with the living-room. Every passing second that went from made my nerves made me even more paranoid than the previous second. I then moved on to searching the next room being our bed-room. What I found inside my worst nightmares a reality.

"AICHI!" I called out seeing him holding the exact same pocket-knife in his hands again. I never wanted in either of our lives to see him holding it with the same intent as the last time. Just when Aichi turned to look at me a blinding flash of lightning flashed outside through the window. That flash made Aichi seem even more broken than I ever thought was possible for any human.

Aichi's now jet-black hair was camouflaged by the jet of night in the room. I could tell by his still mixed of Dodger blue and Persian blue eyes were so filled with pain. So full of: loneliness of being left alone for so long, sorrow for not having the person he needed most when he was suffering, hopelessness for believing he's not worth anyone's love, and so full of despair that not matter what happens nothing will ever save him from this abyss he fallen into.

Seeing my true love so…_broken _made my heart break into so many tiny pieces inside. I was the source, the cause, the reason that Aichi became this broken in the first place. Miwa was correct I've done something that Aichi might never forgive me for.

'_Why should he anyways all I've done has caused him pain and misery!'_

'_I'll never forgive myself even if Aichi does someday, somehow finds the heart to forgive me.'_

I gradually walked towards the broken teen who still had not fully conscious to comprehend my presence. He wasn't even being controlled by PSYqualia either.

'_What do I do now?'_

'_Am I too late to save him?'_

Once I was right beside Aichi he still wasn't consciousness enough to know who I was. I calmly grabbed his slender wrist that was holding the pocket-knife. At the sudden touch he jumped in surprise, just like he has been ever since what Ren did to him in his dream. It kept tearing me apart inside to see such a former stronged-willed and spirited person as him become this broken. I knew that the next time I saw Ren Suzugamori I would give him some of the hell Aichi has been put through because of him.

"Aichi, look at me please." I said, in a soothing voice trying not to frighten him anymore than he already was at the moment.

"To..shi…ki…?" Aichi said, his voice coming out uneven and flat so unfitting for someone like him. The longer this dragged, on the more I noticed that Aichi personality began to slip away him. As he slipped, away he became more and more like a marionette that his string were being pulled by Ren. Ren, he was gradually becoming Aichi's master puppeteer pulling his strings.

"SNAP OUT OF IT, please!" I begged grabbing his wrist tightly hurting him slightly. I just couldn't, no I just didn't want to believe that I once again that I lead him to resort to cutting himself. The first time was only due to Ren's idea of giving me the same power that Aichi and him possessed, _PSYqualia. _What Aichi, my one and only love of my life said next was the last straw. It was the last straw that utterly shattered my heart.

"Help me!" Aichi Sendou pleaded, in a weak and broken voice that shattered me for the last time. He began to tremble like a small, vulnerable animal caught in a trap. He looked so much smaller than he really was as he stared into my eyes as he trembled. He then just suddenly without warning collapse to the ground in unfathomable fear and terror.

"Aichi." I called out trying to get his full attention on me instead of on whatever that was plaguing his mind.

"Toshiki! I…!" the broken boy said, just above an audible voice as he cried out in unbelievable sorrow and grief. I pulled him into a tight embrace without thinking. I just couldn't take it anymore, I needed to prove to him that I truly do indeed love him. I needed to show him that I'm willing to do anything to have him forgive me. I needed to show him that I'm _never, ever _going to leave his side just because he's weak and fragile.

"Shh, Aichi I'm here now. Nothing is going to happen between us again I promise. I'm sorry extremely sorry for leaving you so utterly alone when you needed me the most. Please forgive me Aichi I'm sorry." I whispered to him wanting to calm his nerves some, even if it was just a bit. As long as it helped any I'm happy that I'm helping him the way I should of in the first place. I never let him out of my embrace, and he didn't make any moves to tell me he wanted to be release either yet. So I continued to hold in my arms where he rightfully belonged to.

**Author's Note: This took me A LOT longer than I wanted it to take me to finish. I also had to change the plan to have this chapter cover from mid-August to the end of September. I'm going to instead to make the next several chapter longer just like this one to make up for it. Please don't hate me for tormenting Aichi too much again. I had no other choice but to do it again sorry _**

**I'm doing this to give Aichi and Kai some hardships in their relationship. No relationship starts out on a smooth road. Majority of relationships start out bumpy at first then they begin to smooth out later on. This is only the first few bumps that are going to test their love for each other. **

**I'm even being nice enough to give all my wonderful readers a sneak peak at the next chapter. I didn't start it just yet, but I have a rough idea as to where I want it to go. It might change slightly don't hate me for that, its because I get new ideas to add onto the story.**

**Preview of the Next Chapter: **

_Aichi is now almost completely and utterly broken apart because of Ren. Toshiki finally noticed his mistake with the help of his friend Miwa. Now that he's willing to do whatever it takes to prove to Aichi that he's not as pathetic and worthless and he think he is, will he want to be helped? Will Ren get between them again to test their love? _

_Toshiki is doing to stay beside Aichi no matter what right? Or maybe he'll finally get feed up with all the drama that Aichi is giving him? Ren still haven't made his next move yet either, maybe he'll once again do something to shatter the already broken boy? _


End file.
